Does Love Ever Dissipate?


A few days ago I reconnected with my first girlfriend back from when I was 21 years of age. She had come for a visit. We went ice-skating, played board games, hiked in snow-covered mountains, and shared meals together. We have both grown older and a little wiser. We’ve both been through many difficult and beautiful parts of life.

During the time we dated, I loved her very much. We had many wonderful times together, but we ended up separating because of some mistakes we both made. Something happened though during our recent time together–I found myself feeling love for her again. Though it wasn’t a needy or romantic love. It was an innocent feeling. A love that doesn’t ask for anything in return.

In my understanding there are different types of love. There is familial love, that is love for the family; there is friendship love, what one feels for friends; and there is romantic love, the love communicated between lovers. Love at its core simply means connection.

Okay, back to the story. The night that she left, while contemplating her visit, I also remembered the beautiful and special moments I shared with my second girlfriend. Doing so I immediately realized what was happening. I was holding the frequency of love for two people simultaneously. It was a tender, affectionate, loving feeling. It’s a love that wants both of them to be okay and wishes only the best. I also realized that my love for them will never die because there is nothing to hold against them.

We all make mistakes in life because of our choices. Sometimes those choices, whether good or bad, will take us on different paths than our loved ones, and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean one should stop loving the person. True love doesn’t need anything. It simply wants to give and not forcibly take.

The best relationship you can have is one where you both realize you don’t need anything from each other. You just love.

How to Love: Defining Love

Every human being wants to experience love; we want to show love and be loved.

Even Adolf Hitler, who many considered to be a loveless human being, wanted to love. He married his lover Eva Braun, he loved to paint, and he loved his dogs.

It doesn’t matter where someone comes from, who they are, or what they have done, every human being has a need to express love.

But why is that? And what exactly is love anyways? What role does it play in our lives? And how can we better show it?

Defining Love

Love has played a big role in human culture. It has been a central element to many stories told, many songs have been inspired by it, and everyone has had an encounter with it at least once during their life. Everyone experiences love differently; which is why love holds so many different meanings.

People have used the word love to describe anything from a simple liking, to a sexual act, or even a deity. Most people use it to describe a positive emotion of affection and caring.

When it comes to love, there is no doubt that it is many things. One could even go as far as to say it’s the reason why we’re here.

Regardless of its many definitions, the fundamental meaning of love stays the same: to love, means to connect. In all the various meanings of love, you are choosing to make a connection.

Choose Your Love Wisely

As with the rest of your life, you have a choice. You have full control over what to connect with and what to disconnect from. You get to decide if you want to grow a connection or not. You get to choose what you want to love.

Do you want to connect with entertainment media, or do you want to connect more with friends and family? Do you want to keep your current job, or do you want to connect with another industry? Do you want to continue developing your romantic relationship, or start a new one?

It is up to you to decide who and what you want to connect with.

Connect to Love

It’s only when you start to consciously choose what and who you want to connect with that you will create more loving and lasting relationships. If the relationships in your life always leave you feeling drained, then it’s likely that your relationships grew out of unconscious choices.

If you want to take the first steps to increase love in your life, all you have to do is make conscious decisions. Until you consciously decide, you will just dangle from one superficial connection to another.

Beyond Connecting – Developing

So you made a conscious choice, now what? Now you need to continue to develop your connection. This can be hard work, but when you decide to continuously develop a connection, it can become a source of great happiness, growth, love and more.

It can be hard work to put in the effort to visit someone who lives far away, rather than just call them; it can be difficult to admit you were mistaken when you make an error; it takes courage to continue to do what you love when life throws obstacles your way; but if you continue to develop a connection, whether it’s emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, or a combination of these, then you will continue to create a deeper love.

Most people are afraid to connect on such a deep level. Maybe because they’re really afraid of exposing themselves, of being hurt, of failing, or perhaps some other reason. In reality, the more you open yourself up, the more of an opportunity you will have to let love grow in your heart.

I have found that the easiest way to be more receptive to love is to first develop a connection with your heart. When you develop a relationship with your true self, then the love and passion that is in you will naturally flow from you to other people.

Then you will find yourself being a source of love, instead of being dependent on others for it. When you are able to create that for your life, others will in turn want to give back to you the same love you give them–and being in such a system of natural exchange, can be a source of great happiness.