What I Seek

How close can we get to someone before they begin to feel uncomfortable? It’s safe to assume that most of us would feel uneasy with someone standing a little too close in our personal space. Why do we allow some to be really close, and want others really far?

Some people we want to be close to are romantic partners. We can’t get enough of them. We hold them so close looking to be ever closer still. Never quite reaching the level of closeness we would like to achieve.

We long for intimacy. We long to be held and cocooned like nothing would hurt us. Or lay against their bodies, as if we laid upon a bed of warmth and protective covers.

The truth is that what we search for will never be found in any body. A Course In Miracles (ACIM) reads:

“It is only the awareness of the body that makes love seem limited. For the body is a limit on Love. […] Each body seems to house a separate mind, a disconnected thought, living alone and in no way joined to the Thought by which it was created” -T18.VII, ACIM

Two bodies will never join in true oneness; which is what we truly crave. Even in a lifetime that level of closeness cannot be achieved, because what is false can not join. A body, being part of maya, cannot join; it can only come to truth.

What we really crave is our Source or our return to God, the place of wholeness. We crave to be enveloped in it. So we seek it every where. We seek it in a book or a movie, in the pursuit of knowledge, or by moving to another place. We say “if I accomplish this, then my life will be complete;” or “if only I could be with this person, then I could be a little happier.”

ACIM goes on to teach, paraphrasing, “think not that you are a ripple, separate from the ocean; or a sunbeam apart from the sun” -T18.VIII. We are being reminded that we are not the little consciousness we think we are. It is only from whole consciousness that I am complete. Only here, will I find what I am looking for. Only here can I truly say “I Love You.”